Going down the hill
by MurasakiShiori
Summary: One bad decision leads to a whole series of bad decisions later on. Losing a friend gives a U-turn in Ichigo's life. Can he stop and turn back before it's too late? Will his friends help or turn against him? Story's better than summary. No pairing.


The orange oval of the sun sunk below the surface, leaving only a hint of redness on the dark blue sky. A cold breeze trailed through the empty streets of Karakura. However, the calm, natural picture was broken by a triumphant, blood-freezing laugh that boomed through the small town. Dark eyes with yellow irises fixed on the shinigami of the 13th Squad. Said soul reaper gulped silently as the snow white zanpakutou in her hand started trembling slightly.

Soul Society denied to help her even after a dozen calls. It's not like they didn't want to - they couldn't help. The party yesterday, celebrating the final defeat of Aizen Sousuke had a way bigger effect on everyone than they have thought. Kuchiki Rukia, however, decided to spend that time in the world of the living, with her new friends. Now all the drunk or sleeping shinigami were useless, since they have let their guards down, unfortunately, at a very, very bad time.

Apparently, Ichigo's hollow decided to take over once again, as the soul reaper boy relaxed. Seeing a slight chance of being able to rule his body forever, the hollow striked in the best moment he could. Ichigo didn't even have a chance to fight against it. Rukia, unable to contact Urahara, Chad, Uryuu, or even Inoue, now stood in front of the beast, gasping for air, wincing at the pain flowing throughout her body. She knew this was a lost game from the beginning, but she had no choice. When no ally comes to rescue you, there's no other option but to give it your life. She tapped her ear once again as a new message came from Soul Society.

„_Kuchiki-san, the first team of rescue is on their way. They should arrive in at least 20 minutes!"_

„I've got no time here, fools! I could barely keep him off this long, in a minute or so I am done!"

„_We're doing our best to get there in time!"_

Rukia clenched the small device as she threw it onto the ground in anger, her throat narrowing, and her eyes filling with tears. She let out a shaky breath as she held out her hand in front of her, with her palm aiming for the hollow's head.

„Then I'll stop you." She said calmly.

_I wanted to live longer. A shinigami has to accept their fate, knowing they can die anywhere, at any time. That is why we don't get friends, that is why we don't have lovers. Our destiny is to save people, not to have fun with them, because we would want to live longer at the times of danger then. And we wouldn't be able to protect them. _

_Yet I was stupid enough to offer them a place in my heart. I was stupid enough to have feelings for this bunch of people. And now my heart aches because I know I have to leave this world, to leave behind everyone I loved. This is farewell…everyone…"_

A light red colored ball grew bigger and bigger and shot out as she yelled the name of the Kidou spelling „Hadou no. 31! Shakkahou!" The small gathering of reaitsu blew up, causing a small explosion as it made contact with the opponent's zanpakutou. Rukia shunpou'd closer in the meantime, making a stabbing motion with her sword into the ribs of the hollowfied Ichigo. The tip of her zanpakutou stopped for a moment, then the pure white blade broke into pieces. Rukia's eyes widened as her most precious property had only its hilt now. Useless. Well, not that it would be need to used anymore. Before she could even step back, she was grabbed by her neck. The teenager's slender fingers, which sometimes gently brushed against hers by accident, now grasped the life out of her. Long fingers tugged into her soft skin, drawing out blood. For the last time in her short life, she inhaled.

_Crack._

A sudden flash of pain, then it all stopped.

Ichigo destroyed an other building inside his inner world, while screaming madly. „STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP!" Unable to do anything, he panted and growled, tugged at his hair, and did everything he could do. He thrusted his zanpakutou into the ground and kneeled down beside it, pulling at his mouth's corners as he held back a sob.

„Please!" He whispered and his voice broke. „Why can't I do anything? Why is this time _different_, _why_ isn't my resolve enough?" As he forced his eye-lids closed, concentrating on taking over his own body with everything he got, he received a picture of what was going on outside his soul. Hearing a desperate gasp from Rukia. „NOOO!" He shrieked as he begged to his hollow. „DON'T DO IT! PLEASE! I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!"

A low, disdainful voice answered, booming through the vast, blue world. „Tch. You're pathetic, King. I warned you, didn't I? Now suffer."

As the watery echo stopped, Ichigo's heart skipped a beat.

He felt it. It was over. He could feel as the life left her eyes. He could feel her last heartbeat. He could hear her last wishes, her last thoughts. He didn't see it with his own eyes, he wasn't out there, but he could feel it. Her reiatsu stopped pulsating like it was cut off.

His lips parted, the breath came out, the words formed, but no voice came.

„_No." _

Denial words whirled around in his head, not believing. Not wanting to believe.

„No. No! NOOOO!"

His yell filled the emptiness of the space, and the sky darkened, like as if the sun exploded and didn't exist anymore. Blood-red clouds hid all the light, covering everything in a great shadow. Ice cold teardrops fell, pouring down on Ichigo. The zanpakutou spirit stood on his pole, emotionless, standing straight in the rainstorm.

Ichigo sobbed. The dark buildings let his bitter cry spread across the world. Just like 7 years ago. Exactly like back then, when he couldn't save his mother. And now he couldn't protect Rukia. He was useless. His hand clenched and unclenched, his body and his feelings beyond control . He wanted to die. To die so badly. To give up everything. To have anything that stops this torturing agony, this stinging distress, _this cathing misery._

Distant footsteps broke Ichigo's silent thoughts. They softly tapped on the wall as they approached the ruined figure of the once great teenage boy. He lifted his head up for a small glance, but he couldn't care less. There was nothing that could save him now, or was there? The gloomy spirit of his zanpakutou slowly lowered himself to the crouching Ichigo. Relucantly, he placed a hand on the boy's back, comforting him. From the corner of his eye, the shinigami looked at Zangetsu, an ever-so-slight hope glimmering in his broken soul. After a soft sigh, Zangetsu's low, fatherly voice came out.

„_I'm sorry."_

The boy's eyes grew wider, turning towards the zanpakutou. The sword he was leaning onto now landed on the wall with a loud, clashing sound. He slowly stood up, a slight disbelief drawing on his face. He bursted out, frowning. „Sorry? Is that the best you can give, old fart? MY FRIEND DIED BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU DIDN'T HELP ME! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE MY ZANPAKUTOU, WE'RE NOT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST ALIKE! BECAUSE _I _WOULD HAVE _SAVED HER_!" Zangetsu didn't have any response to that. His face couldn't be read. „…I wish you would die." Ichigo hissed through gritted teeth.

„… Ichigo."

„Don't…! Don't talk to me anymore!" Ichigo managed to say these without breaking into an other cry.

„If you want to save your friend…you have to listen to me." Ichigo looked at the old man with wide eyes, thinking of that he might have misheard him.

„…W…What?"

„I couldn't let you out until now. But if you hurry now, you can still use Inoue Orihime's healing powers."

„… You're lying…"

„Hurry before you lose this chance as well." Ichigo's soul was pulled out from his world and roughly pushed back into his body.

He opened his eyes to a horrifying picture. His friend was lying in his hands, cold and lifeless. He gulped and grasped Rukia's body gently, but firmly. Nodding to himself, he started sprinting down the streets. Inoue is just a few streets away, he should be able to get there quickly enough. Using shunpou as many times as he could, he arrived in less than a minute. He was wondering if there was still a chance of saving her. Almost breaking the doorknob, he yelled, punched the door, and did anything to get Inoue outside. She quickly ran to the door, inhaling like a scream when she saw her friend in Ichigo's arms, a dead expression on Rukia's face.

„S-Save her, please!" Ichigo breathed out as he started to sob again. Inoue pulled him in as fast as she could and knelt down beside her. The orange shield surrounded the cold body and Inoue closed her eyes for better concentration. It was only a few minutes, but Ichigo felt like it was long hours of desperate wait. He couldn't stop looking back at his watch.

„What's taking so long?" He asked with quite disbelief in his voice, standing up and starting to walk around in Inoue's small living room.

„I-I'm sorry, Kurosaki-kun, but this isn't as quick as I thought, just please, give me some time, I'm doing my best!" Inoue rattled off.

„I DON'T CARE! Just save her already!" As Ichigo yelled, Inoue felt like she was stabbed in the heart. He quite understood it right after, and was ready to apologize when he was interrupted as the shield, the only chance to save Rukia broke into pieces with a loud crack. Inoue inhaled sharply, Kurosaki's sentence playing over and over in her head like a nightmare. _I don't care. I don't care. I don't care!_ Tears filled her eyes and she swallowed hard. She tried to bring up the shield again anyways, but it just wouldn't work. „I-Inoue…!" But she shook her head, drying her face with the back of her hands, still trying to call out to the shield, but her pixies wouldn't obey. „I'm… I'm so sorry, I don't even know what to say… Inoue, look-…"

„I-It's alright, K-Kurosaki-kun." She got interrupted several times by her own sobs, but she tried her best to put on a smile. „I-I know you di-didn't mean it…r…right? It's Kuchiki-sa-san we're talking a-about. I… I gotta sav-save her…" All the while Ichigo had a painful expression, so she quickly turned back to work on the shield…but it was too late.

Rukia's body slowly started lighting up and fading away. Small lights flew up, only her chest and head still with them. Ichigo quickly jumped next to her dead body and took her face in his head. „No! Rukia! Don't leave me! You can't die! I'll protect you! I will! I will…! …" His hands fell on the floor and Rukia was no more with them. Her body and her whole existence disappeared without anything left behind. Ichigo punched the floor under him, desperately asking the gods to bring her back. Somehow. Anyhow. He didn't care what the way was. He couldn't believe he didn't save her. Twice. How could he fail so badly?

„Ku… Kurosaki…kun…" Inoue started slowly, her eyes shining, tears streaming down her face.

„I… I am so sorry Inoue… I will do anything to make it back. To make you happy again. To make you forget!"

„It's … alright… Kurosaki-kun, you didn't do anything wrong."

„What are you saying? I hurt your feelings, right? Why are you lying to me? Why…?"

But Inoue stood up and left without a word. Going upstairs, she didn't look back, nor did she say a thing. Ichigo, left behind dumbfounded, slowly made his way outside. He sighed and buried his face in his hands. This was a bad dream…

He dragged himself home, depressed. His whole family was asleep, so he thought it was best to just go up into his room and say nothing. When he opened his doors silently, he found Kon in his plush body, all soaked in tears, a painfully sad expression on his lion face. When he turned to see Ichigo step in, without hesitation he jumped for Ichigo's head with a roar.

„HOW DARE YOU KILL MY PRECIOUS NEE-SAN YOU BASTARD I WILL-!" But before he could injure him, Ichigo pushed out his soul with the badge. The plush simply fell down onto the floor, and he took the green pill in his hand. Looking at it for quite a while, he wondered. He should probably put him back in the little toy, because, after all, he was right. But he didn't want to hear it. Not even the littlest bit. Maybe he should wait until he calmed down. Well, both of them calmed down. And with that, he put the soul candy in his drawer and shoved it back closed. As a finishing touch, he snuggled into his bed, hoping to fall asleep as quick as he could.


End file.
